My first post announcing my quit date and plan of action was largely based on advice I'd learned from lurking. People like Moneca, Sharon-Dee, Wayne, Bren, Gene, Tommyboy, Michael, LindaWW and Pen-Can taught me a wealth of knowledge that helped me develop a STRATEGY, but more than that, they inspired me to take that leap… to BELIEVE it was possible. You see, I'd TRIED to quit many times since I started smoking 19 years ago as a means to becoming part of the "cool group". I was continually looking for the magical "cure" - cold turkey, patches, LifeSign, but it was always about "how long I could go without smoking"… like I had already resigned myself to the fact that smoking would inevitably be the outcome… and lo and behold, it always was (hmmmmm).

How did I PREPARE? I developed a List of Reasons for Quitting…which I made several copies of to be sure I had it handy for times when the Nicodemon told me nothing was worth the pain of withdrawal. I bought bags and bags of baby carrots (but eventually found chocolate so much more satisfying *S*). I cleared my desk at work so that I could take it a little easy for the first week…. I ended up "taking it easy" for more like three months (my boss won't see this, will he???? *L*). I developed skills in being KIND to myself - rewarding myself often, and forgiving myself continuously. I chanted my mantras, "Smoking is not an option (Thank you Winnie/Jen); "I won't smoke, even if my a$$ falls off" (Thank You, CyberJack), "Death to the Fat Guys" (Thank you Freddy). I took Zyban. I warned family/friends that I was going to hide out for a while - for once in my life, I committed to putting my Quit (ME!) first.

When I first posted, all my mentors I'd been silently learning from jumped in to welcome me, encourage me, reassure me it was possible. I remember I was so touched by that, I never even thanked them… ?!! … I was crying too hard from the emotions of finally making that transition from observer to participant… COMMITTING to my decision. Many others were quitting around then, for it was New Year's - and that was when we formed a little group of Newbies - all supporting one another, cheering one another on, sharing fears/tips. I never would have dreamed of opening up to a group of people on the internet, but in all honesty, I became enchanted with each and every one of them - Paul-CO, Joyce, Molly, Joanne, Heather Dawn, Karen-OH, Moneca, Dee K, Eve, Jason, =^..^=, Jonie, Mark, Jenny and so many others filled my days with hugs, laughter, blue coffee, more laughter and love… and gave me the strength to keep on going, albeit moment by moment at times. Our shared experiences have in some cases developed into very dear friendships … yet another surprise treasure I reaped along the way.

We would help one another plot out how to deal with FIRSTS - and applaud each other when we returned successful. We comforted one another when we were crying, or scared, or feeling entirely out of hope or strength. People like Gene and Tommyboy were my mentors - telling me it was possible, reassuring me it could be done… giving me FAITH on a daily/hourly basis. I remember one time, Gene had to YELL at me, "IT GETS BETTER!!! I PROMISE!!!" Junkie Thinking rang loudly in my ears back then, and an all caps post was what it took to get through that time. *S*

And, when the Oldbies came around - Wayne and Michael and Rob - with their phenomenal rambles and wayne-amations..(oh, how I adored those … okay, I still DO… *VBG* ) - I got a tremendous boost of strength, courage, enthusiasm - for their excitement, happiness, freedom, was something I wanted too… they nurtured my HOPE and my CONFIDENCE - two more essential ingredients to my success.

And while my quit was maturing, I began to admire more and more how Blairsville was growing as a community - new people arrived everyday from all over the world to contribute their unique creativity, wisdom, and love to help others - The Euro Morning Crew and their unconditional support, Char's wonderful photo album, Bob and Tami's map and calendar; Bob's resource links (and fun modes of transportation, crackers and pooonch), Jerry's kind heart and funny posts, Vickie's angels and hugs, Sherry's healing words, sleeping bags and my personal favourite - cards that turn colour when you click on 'em *S*, ann's wisdom in psychology (especially abnormal!!), Rita's magical cakes, Donald's inspirational messages, Vanessa's wolf howls and brilliance, Mike R's unwaivering resolve and dedication. How can we not be successful with so much love and caring and wisdom and plain old fashioned camaraderie around us?!! Oh, and Bob??? On your one-year anniversary, I'll tell you what happened that night in the chat room… NOT! Hehehehe.

In Blairsville, I learned and accepted that I am an ADDICT, which means there is no such thing as JUST ONE cigarette for me… for the rest of my life. That was very traumatic for me in the beginning, but it's a source of comfort for me now...if somebody told me I only had a week to live, I would not waste one precious moment smoking a cigarette… I am FREE. I also learned that every time I help somebody else who is struggling, the Nicodemon becomes weaker and my quit becomes stronger. I've witnessed a lot in the last year in this town of Blairsville - I've seen friends go through horrendous pain like losing family members, friends, pets, jobs, relationships, and their courage has continued to inspire me, teach me, strengthen me through it all. We CAN do this… live life… even the painful and/or uncertain parts… SMOKE-FREE. More proof the Nicodemon had lied to me/to us for all these years… telling me I wasn't strong enough, brave enough, safe enough without him numbing the way… smoking does NOTHING to improve LIVING… at last I believe those words… thank God.

And, as the smoke clears, so has the denial - I've begun to really SEE and FEEL life… and truths continue to show themselves with time. These truths are, in turn, leading to new goals and dreams. And, while I'm still not comfortable feeling emotions like anger, sadness or shame, I now know I am better off experiencing them than to deny them… for they are cues for where I need to instigate healthy change. As an ex-smoker, I now feel joy and love more deeply… in fact, as I become more authentic, alive, *ME*, I'm able to cherish a brilliant spectrum of emotions I'd only caught glimpses of as a smoker. While learning to understand and value myself was not one of my initial reasons for quitting (as I wasn't aware I had this need), it has become my most precious gift of all, and one I plan to nurture always.

I hope with all of my heart that each and every one of you reaches this moment of freedom and bliss that comes with the realization that YOU have the power to manage this addiction, with a little help from your friends of course *G*. Thank you Blair - you must be so darn proud of yourself for creating this safe haven that has saved so many lives. Thank you Blairsville, for each and every one of you helps to create the magic that touches people's hearts and souls every day and gives them strength on this journey towards freedom.

Hugs and Love to All,

Lisa

One year, 7 hours, 16 minutes and 3 seconds. 9132 cigarettes not smoked, saving $1,534.27. Life saved: 4 weeks, 3 days, 17 hours, 0 minutes.

Lisa's three year ramble Thanks for remembering me today ((((Tommyboy)))) - your post made me smile big-time Many, many thanks to all the precious people in Blairsville who contributed to my journey - far too numerous to mention by name.

I read my one year ramble again the other day (thanks so much for looking after the Society, Tom), and I feel the same way, except the good feelings have gotten even better...which is so interesting to me, because I honestly remember thinking on my one year anniversary that it just can't get better than this...at this point, I firmly believe it continues to get better, the longer you're quit.

(((Blair)))), thanks for all your hard efforts working to make sure there's a sanctuary for quitters here...I think your patience and devotion are remarkable. Best wishes to any newbies just beginning your journey - it's worth all the tears, the anger, the pain...because once you get past the tough parts, the rewards just keep tumbling on in. Treat yourselves with kindness and love...this is a horrible addiction and you deserve to hang in there long enough to learn how it feels to be free...and to find out who you truly are when you have energy to spend on *you*, rather than using it all to feed your addiction.

Editor's note: This was posted by Dawn on 09/07/2002, and due to the fact that in my old age I had neglected to add her to the "Society" till just now, it will serve as Dawn's "Ramble", till a photo and another "Ramble" can be hopefully provided Greetings everyone.
I just stopped by to offer my support to everyone who is trying to quit smoking.

In 1999 I joined this awesome community to quit smoking. On January 4, 1999 I smoked my last coffin nail. To date, I am still smoke-free and I owe a great deal of it to this board and to Blair. I am now 36 years old, married and waiting for the call that our adoption is final and we can to go to Guatemala to pick up our 7 month old daughter. Life is GOOD! International adoption is very, VERY stressful and I made it through the entire 7 months without a cigarette.

If you are still trying, KEEP TRYING!! It is one of the hardest things you will ever do for yourself, but it is almost the BEST thing you will ever do for yourself and your loved ones.

My husband quit smoking at the same time. He used Zyban and it was a Godsend. He had been smoking for over 20 years and had tried to quit hundreds of times. With Zyban, he said he felt guilty because it was almost too easy to finally quit for good.

Hugs to all of you struggling..please stick with it. It can be done. I'm living proof..I had a two pack a day habit for 10 years and I did it. And if I did it, SO CAN YOU!!! By the way...it is never ever too late. I thought any physical damage was already done, so what's the point, right? Well, I had a lung scan done last week and my lungs are clear. I'm perfectly healthy, Thank God..and Blair.

Dawn
A former smoker who quit thanks to Blair