On the night of December 16, 1999, somewhere around 10:30, I smoked my last cigarette – a True King Size, non-menthol. I use the 17th as my anniversary since that was my first smoke-free day. I had smoked for somewhere around 35 years, with a couple decent quits in there. One of some 6-8 months and another of 3 months. I had smoked solidly, however, for nearly 15 years since the last quit. I enjoyed smoking but, in the year or so leading up to this quit, I had begun to think about quitting. Not seriously thinking, just that I felt somehow, that a quit was in my future. Friends, or my wife, would mention something about smoking and I would say I knew I was going to quit…soon….I just wasn’t sure when. And I wasn’t just saying it either, I knew I was building toward a quit. I guess the desire to quit was inside me but I hadn’t fully acknowledged it yet.

About 7-8 months before my quit started, a very dear friend, Nick, a wonderful gentleman, a smoking buddy, and one of the best friends I have ever had, was hospitalized with cancer. I have moved in the last few years – we lived about 100 miles apart and didn’t get to see each other very often. Nick’s wife called me up one day, told me he was in the hospital, and said that he wanted to see me. I went to his bedside, we visited awhile, and he finally said…”Donnie, I just wanted to see you to tell you to quit smoking.”…I wish I could have promised him I would quit that day…I could only say…”I know I’m gonna’ do it, Nick. It will be soon but I’m just not sure when”. Nick recovered for awhile and went home, but the cancer, caused by smoking, had spread throughout his body and we lost him about 4 months later.
I continued on, still somehow knowing that a quit was in my future. I know the feeling that I was going to quit was motivated partly by fear. I had begun to realize that I was killing myself. Colds lasted a long time and were probably close to (or might even have been) pneumonia or bronchitis. I had a nearly constant cough. I tired easily. I could no longer convince myself that I just had sinus infections, etc. I’m sure that another reason was that, a couple years previously, I finally had met and married a wonderful lady and life just seemed to be more precious. Finally in December, the time began to seem right. In a previous quit I had learned many of the suggested quitting aids and coping techniques, so I began to prepare. One day I was wandering around the Web and did some searches on quitting smoking. That’s when I wandered into this place. I don’t really remember if I found Blairsville before or after my quit date but, it was pretty close to that date. I set a date for December 16th, a Thursday, and I planned to have my last cigarette before I went to bed that night. Having a before bedtime smoke on the deck had become a nightly ritual for me. (I look back and wonder how my wife tolerated it…I imagined that simply brushing my teeth magically took away all that smoker smell.) I picked that day ‘cause I was only working half a day on the Friday and I felt more comfortable in thinking that if I got through Friday then I would only have to get through the weekend in the early days. Then the next week I would work a couple days and then have several days off for Christmas. I don’t know why but, for me, it was less intimidating to consider being smokeless at home than to be smokeless at work.

The quit went better than I expected in many ways but there were some interesting surprises…and I learned things about myself. The physical withdrawals in the first days were not a real problem. I snacked a lot, drank lots of juice, etc. etc. The mental coping was another story. I read here about folks who become irritable and cranky when they quit. This didn’t really happen to me. Instead I think I internalized a lot of the emotions that might otherwise have come to the surface (a bad habit of mine). I believe that, as a result of internalizing things, I later suffered more stress and physical problems than would have been necessary, had I let my emotions out a little more.

So my quit began….. I started to visit Blairsville regularly but it was awhile before I posted. I was a little apprehensive about on-line forums/chats, etc. I finally made some tentative posts. I was welcomed and made to feel a part of the community. I have since learned so much from the wise folks here in Blairsville. Probably the most important thing I learned is that smoking is an addiction and that I am an addict. There is a lot that is carried with that statement. It means I can’t have “just one”. It means that I will never totally conquer the addiction….it will always be part of me. But….I can make the choice to not smoke. I learned the “just one” lesson when I destroyed previous quits by thinking I was stronger than the addiction and that I could be an occasional smoker. I’ll pass this related thought on…..If you think about having “just one” just remember that you are not really choosing whether or not to have “just one”, you are choosing whether or not you are going to go back to smoking.

The other very important thing I learned is that there is more associated with quitting than just getting over smoking cigarettes. For the biggest part of my life I hid behind cigarettes…..I coped with everything by smoking. I smoked when I was happy… sad… disappointed… frustrated… scared… melancholy…. needed to think… didn’t want to think…etc. etc. I have had to learn to live and cope with life without the cigarettes. To meet life head on, dealing with the good and the bad. I only learned that I need to deal with this aspect of quitting in the latter part of the quit and am still learning the coping skills that I need. But there is so much good to be experienced and savored that it is a joy to learn.
I’ve also learned I have so much more freedom and can enjoy things at a new level. A quick example…. My wife and I had a Christmas dinner the other night with another couple who are good friends. A really great restaurant with terrific food. At some point I became aware of how nice it was to enjoy the meal… as an ex-smoker. I could truly taste and savor the food and…most of all….I wasn’t thinking about how soon I could have a cigarette. Or wishing I could have a cigarette during a long wait for dessert. There are so many ways I was a slave to the cigarette. The freedom is an unexpected benefit for me.
I owe so much to you folks here in Blairsville. I’m not going to start naming names ‘cause I’d inevitably forget someone.. I seriously doubt if I could have made it without the magic support that is here in Blairsville. But, one very special person has to be acknowledged. Many, many, many thanks to Blair for creating this magic place and working to keep it a wonderful support-filled community. I’m reminded of an old Protestant hymn that my Mother used to love. I believe the title is “Will there be any stars in my crown?”, and it relates to the rewards one might receive at the end of this life……Blair, You’re gonna’ have a lot of stars in your crown.

Just a few other quick random thoughts as long as I have the floor….
I am continually fascinated by Blairsville. When I first came here, I sought help. And I received lots of help and support from the folks here. Then I went through a period when I felt I should give back to Blairsville and try to support other people. And by doing that, I helped myself. Now that I’ve been here even longer, I now go to the board…see folks struggling…and think that I really need to post to try to help them out. But, often quicker than I can react, I see others, posting and providing wonderful words of wisdom. It’s kind of like the younger generation taking over as we old fogeys head to the porch and our rockers. And they do a durn fine job of keeping things going. Kind of like real life, huh?

For everybody here…. Remember this… You are Blairsville. What you say to a new quitter, will be passed on to another person sometime in the future. The support you provide will be passed on. What you make of this community is what it will become. The way we deal with and support one another is the way this board will be a year from now and beyond.

When I began my quit, I didn’t even think about the prospect of being quit for a year. If I had, it would have seemed like an incredibly long journey. As I look back now, the time has flown by. It’s been quite a trip.

For folks who are just starting their quit, if I had to list a few keys to a successful quit, I would say….Preparation, Knowledge, and Will. Prepare for the quit like you would for any serious endeavor. You will be fighting a battle for your life. Arm yourself with all the knowledge you can about the quitting process, withdrawal symptoms, dangers of smoking, deceits of the tobacco companies, etc. And finally…have the will. Yeah, it’s tough. But you can do it. It will get better and better with each day that you fight off the urges.

My journey through this process began a little over a year ago when right after Thanksgiving a woman I work with (desk right next to mine) had a grand mal seizure. It was very scary sitting with her waiting for the ambulance to arrive. Diagnosis: brain cancer, metastisized from the lung cancer she had been dealing with for over a year. At the same time, I was watching my favorite uncle slowly dying from emphysema. I finally said That's it!! I DO NOT want to end up like that! So I set my quit date as Jan 1 and starting planning and searching. Thank God in my search I found this place. I remember the first minutes..hours..days.. even months of my quit sitting on my hands in front of the computer chanting "Smoking is not an Option" and even "I will not smoke even if my *ss falls off" (although I wish some of it had) But here I am one year later and I couldn't be happier.

I know alot of people just starting their quits or wanting to start their quits are worried about the weight gain. Well, I did gain weight..alot of it in fact. I also had to have major surgery in April which didn't help the situation any. But I am now working on that issue and have lost 15 pounds in the last month and a half. I still have a ways to go, but guess what! The weight is coming off but EMPHYSEMA IS FOREVER!!!

I just want to share a few pointers that I hope will help someone else on their journey. If even one person gets anything out of this and keeps their quit, I would be thrilled.
1. Never say I am "trying" to quit. There is no try. As the commercial says "Just Do It"
2. Use whatever method works for YOU. I know when I first came here, there were some people who made me feel that if I was still putting nicotine in my body with replacement therapy, I wasn't doing it "right". If you are quitting cold turkey, Hurrah!! I just happen to know that would not have worked for me! So don't worry about not doing it the way the other person does it...find and way that will work for you and hang in there!
3. Come here and rant, rave, scream, holler, whatever it takes. There is always someone willing to help. Find a favorite quit buddy too. It helps.
4. And finally always remember...Never think you can have just one...one cig, one puff, one chew, one cigar, one anything. It will only put you back to square one.

Congratulations to everyone celebrating today and to all the newbies starting today...I hope to see every one of your names next Jan 1st as the newest old fogies.

All I can say is what a wild ride it has been. Once I got the ball rolling the months just flew by as they will with all you newbies and betweenbies.

I've had a small bump in the road that I've discussed with my weight loss buddies but that is all in the past and I'm still a non smoker!!!!!!

Though I don't get around to posting like I use to, I still consider this bb one the most important parts of my quit-yes, more so than the wellbutrin or the patch-they all helped tremendously but the guidance and big shoulders of friends far outweigh the medicines (to me).

Wow, so this is it, 2yrs under my belt. In a way it seems like last year I quit and in another way it feels like it was such a lifetime ago.

To my friends at Blairsville THANK YOU!! To you newbies-hang in there!!!!!!