McMick
Quit Smoking 03/04/2000
Old Fogey²
Quitting has been the hardest thing I have ever done. I learned that you have to quit for yourself and no one else. When my daughter was born (14 years ago) I said I had to quit, but found a way to justify still smoking. Then my son was born 3 years later. Same excuses and still no quit. 2 years ago my best friend died from cancer. He didn't even smoke but I got to see almost firsthand how quickly and decisively cancer can just rip thru your body. I still didn't quit. I had to finally be ready to do it for MYSELF, and not anyone else. It's sort of like love….you'll know when you are ready. I guess it is love of yourself.
With as much determination that I had, I was pretty sure I could get thru Hell week and beyond, but what would I do when the Nicodemon finally wore down my resilience to a nub? I found the answer in Blairsville. It was definiteIy my secret weapon. I found this site the first day I quit and was amazed at the support and response from everyone. The love and support shown on this BB was just extraordinary. I have been on many sites where there are flames of disapproval if someone says something that isn't widely accepted. I saw (see) none of that on this website. If people disagree, they do so with the utmost respect for each other which I find refreshing. This type of behavior kept me here and kept me from slipping. When the urges would strike I would run to the site and log on and vent. Response of support and encouragement came from everywhere and was so nice to see.
I really felt I started to belong when about in 2 weeks I was helping the "newbies" who were going thru Hell Week. It really started to help me when I was able to help someone else. So many people pulled me thru times when the Nicodemon would just go upside my head and I wasn't expecting it. However, every time he did, I would learn and be determined not to let it happen again. I believe that is why a year is such a milestone. We have so many habits that involved cigarettes. Smoking in a snowstorm, at the beach , holiday parties, social/sporting events and the like. You really have to get thru all of the 4 seasons and all of their temptations to start to understand that there is life after smoking. You can let it go and it doesn't have to control you. You breathe easier, smell better (both ways) and look better also. I have actually replaced my cigarette addiction with a hobby, which is hiking. My beautiful wife and I hike whenever we get the chance. So nice to be able to smell the clean mountain air and not cough up a lung during the climb.
Last but definitely not least is my family. My wonderful wife Beverly and my 2 kids Amy (14) and Andrew (11). Beverly quit about 12 years ago from a 3 pack a day habit before we met. I can't even imagine her with a cigarette. She used to say that I smelled good when I smoked. I was always afraid I would make her go back to smoking. She has been very very proud of me because she knows how hard it was for her to quit. Amy and Andrew are very proud of their Dad. They just assumed that I would never quit. I always said "I should quit" or "one of these days" but I never did. They are very surprised with my determination and almost as proud of my accomplishment as I am.
This milestone of health should be celebrated by everyone here. From Tommyboy's posts about smoking not being an option, to my friend NoNic4Dic counting the days, every day, to stopping in The Coffee Shoppe and meeting the proprietor (Paul) and meeting the entire Morning Crew . Getting support and from Trisha, Ina, Pat, Lars, DebCB, Ina, Dorovu, Scott911, Scott (Anexs), Cindy, Rita, Charlene, Dharma, Michael, Lisa, Donald, Blair and my good friend Ricky and all of the quit sisters. I know I am forgetting people but I don't mean to. It's just that there are so very many folks out there who help everyone, not just me. I could not have done it without you. Guts and determination got me thru the first month or so. Blairsville has been my secret weapon in keeping me quit. It is a most wonderful place and I don't doubt for a moment that I would have lapsed back if I didn't have this place.
I am much stronger now and much more in control of my quit but I am not over confident. I realize it is a fight every day and you have to be on your guard every day. For all the folks struggling you must stay strong. That Nicodemon siren song does fade away. You can beat this. No one ever died from quitting smoking. I wish the opposite were true as well. Good Luck to all and to all a very warm and heartfelt Thank You!!!
Mick
ONE YEAR! Wow, lots of ups and downs along the way. When I started this quit, I knew I had to do it. I wanted to quit, but because of health reasons, I now HAD to quit. It has not been easy. There have been lots of tears and anger along the way. I have been very lucky to have a very supportive family. My husband quit with me. He started back up, and went back and forth for a while. He has quit again now. When he did smoke again though, he never smoked around me, in the house, or in front of me. He was very good about that. My kids have been a constant support to me. They are so happy and proud of me. I have gotten cards from them encouraging me along the way.
I made lots of changes this past year. I quit my job and got a new one. I had my smoking habits at the other job. When I started my new job, I had no smoking habits to break. I went in as an ex-smoker and never was used to hanging outside with the crowd. I know it sounds like drastic measures to take, but I did what I could to ensure this quit.
I was diagnosed with Buergers disease. It is caused by smoking. It clogs the small and medium arteries and veins to the feet and hands. Quitting would not make it better, but it would keep this disease from getting worse. I was angry in the beginning because I felt like this was not "my quit". It was this disease's quit. I resented it. I have now made this MY QUIT, (*thanks Sherry).
If asked what I enjoy the most now, I have to say freedom! I love the freedom of not smoking. I also cannot believe how bad they smell on people and that I never realized that before. Even my kids notice it now on others more than they used to. I am very fortunate that my children do not smoke. If my smoking did any good, it was that it taught my children to hate it.
Now, last but never least is this community of Blairsville. There are not enough words I can say about this place. I do not post often, but I have lurked here every day for the past year. You are angels sent from heaven! Thank you Blairsville. Each and every one of you. Lots will think, I don't know this person, but I have read your posts day after day. Your words have been with me without you even knowing it. YOU ALL have helped me make this quit last.
Today I am standing proud of this accomplishment! I did good with a lot of help from some "friends"!
~Chris
* Sherry, you sent me an email once about making this quit MY quit. Thank you. Once I really understood that, it got better.
During the first month my soul was hungry. "Feed me", it constantly reminded me!
The soulfood of this foreign country was strange to me, and more often than not I thought of leaving the country and go back to where I came from. My soulfood used to be cigarettes, which were not available here!
One day I stumbled upon a town in the foreign country. A town like I have never seen it before. Though in the middle of unknown territory - I heard voices clear and loud, and most remarkably, They spoke in a familiar language. The name of the town was.... BLAIRSVILLE - The people here knew there was a demon on the loose - But they also knew how to stay clear of the demon, to fight it (if necessary), to tell others not to give up AND to lead the way.
I stayed in the outskirts of this town for about a month, Then I went in.....
To mention all the people that have made a difference in my quit (and therefore are a substantial part of my success) would make a list a mile long. I am therefore refraining from that. I would like to thank Blair Price for making this wonderful place possible. Also The Morning Crew (former the early morning crew or night shift) for keeping up with me and my sometimes bizarre humor. (You know who you are and we sure had fun together).
What does it take to give up smoking? My answer is, two things: Determination and the right support. I was lucky. I had both!
Lars - Smokefree for one year March 25, 2001