Reserved for JohnnyZZ
(Quit Smoking 02/01/2001)
Elizabeth_C
(Quit Smoking 02/02/2001)
I had a go at a ramble (as you have probably realised over the past year I'm no writer!) here goes- hope it will do Tommyboy!
Editor Note~SURE DOES Elizabeth!!
There was a time not so long ago that I wouldn't have believed I could quit for 24 hours far less one entire year. One of the hardest, if not the hardest,but most rewarding years of my life. I was reluctant, afraid to try and scared of failing. Yet here I am.
Was it worth it? Oh yes!
And of course at one year I know it's not a 'done deal' and that I may just be checking behind once in a while. I will not lose this quit - it means too much to me.
So thank you Blairsville (Mayor, Fogies, Newbies and Middlebies), thank-you for getting me here, for the fun and laughter, for aliens, dragons, rhinos and all other crazy animals, for your valuable advice, support and friendship and, well, for my life.
"No problem is insurmountable. With a little courage, teamwork and determination a person can overcome anything"
~ B. Dodge ~
My one year, old-fogey, rockingchair-up-on-the-porch, RAMBLE
Wow. One year. I really didn’t think it would be possible to stay quit for a whole year. Yet here I am.
I’ve been smoking since I was 17. Quite a bit of that time I tried to keep it hidden. Couldn’t let the choir teacher know I smoked. Couldn’t let my voice teacher know I smoked. Couldn’t let my friends’ mom know I smoked. All the same applied in college. When I moved into the “real” world, I didn’t try to hide it for awhile. Until I saw that smoking was becoming less and less socially acceptable. Then its back to hiding. From my children’s Dr., from my father, my husband (yeah, right!), my children, my children’s friends’ parents, …etc.
Successfully quitting has been a long road, sometimes difficult, sometimes easy. I think dealing with the emotions I was covering up by smoking was (is) the most difficult part of quitting for me. I’m still working on these issues, and I imagine I will be for a long time. What I should have been learning when I was 17, I’m now learning at 36.
As for the freedom I feel right now, I have to say its AWESOME!!! I’m not chained to a pack. I don’t have to make sure the cigs and a lighter are with me before I leave the house. I don’t have to light a cigarette to start the car. I don’t have to set aside cash to buy a pack. My car no longer smells, my clothes and hair no longer smell. I don’t have to ostracize myself outside a party or gathering. Most importantly, I no longer have to hide!
Perhaps one bright side to quitting was the way in which it illustrated to my children how hard quitting smoking is. One more reason why they should never start. We talked a lot about it (and still do occasionally). Its funny how a year ago they were begging me to quit, and now, they hardly remember that I smoked. It was OK that they forgot my anniversary this time!
I have saved the best piece of my ramble for last,…Blairsville. What can I say that hasn’t already been said? I would NOT be where I am today without this community. I know that if I’m going through a rough time, come to Blairsville. There is ALWAYS something uplifting, distracting, funny or inspiring to read. Many times the conversations would go off-topic. I liked these times the best because it completely took my mind off my cravings. I treasured advice from fogey’s and near-fogeys. It seemed they had done the (almost) impossible. I wanted to be there so much. I wanted to jump from beginning to end, skipping the middle. I see now that the middle can be the most important part. I learned so much about myself here, and for that I am truly thankful!
I do need to say thank you to a few individuals. I don’t mean to leave anyone out, as the strength of this community is its numbers and diversity. However, as with all of us, we tend to form a bond with a select few and its those I’d like to personally thank. Number one is my quit buddy Elizabeth. We joined up awhile into our quits, but I know that I ALWAYS looked forward to seeing her on the boards. He posts were always so encouraging and positive. Besides, I lover her accent! J Special thanks also to Janaya, my first quit buddy and Michael Reilly, for his book and other support. I would like to single out Bob-hart for one day in particular. I think it was 4 months or so into my quit and I was really struggling. Bob-hart said to me, “If you don’t smoke today, I won’t smoke today.” Well, all of a sudden, there was someone else I had to watch out for. So, I didn’t smoke. I didn’t care if I lost my quit, but I wouldn’t let him lose his, especially because of me! I would have to say that particular day was a turning point for me and my friend Bob-hart brought me through. So, thank you.
Some others whom I loved to “chat” with and help along the way are Leanne, Maryanne, Nik, John Miller, Paul, Lindycat, Kimmus, and Deanna, oh, but I can’t forget JohnnyZ, or Mike-Wi,, Nanhal, Craig, Tess, or…Damn, there’s just too many! Please don’t think you haven’t been important to me if your name isn’t here. This community is so big and wonderful and I’m just so thankful I’m a member!
So, as of today, I begin year 2 smoke-free.with a whole lifetime ahead of me! Wow! I still don’t believe it! The secret to my success, and anyone who sits up on the porch with me, is to take each craving, each day, one at a time. Quitting is doable…and WONDERFUL! I’ll still be around, trying to contribute something that may help someone else get through a minute or day without smoking. I want everyone else to experience the freedom I now know.
Thank you, one and all.
I see now I wasn’t fooling anyone. I understand why its so offensive to non-smokers. It REALLY stinks!
Nan's "Ramble"
I haven't been to this board in quite some time.
The main thing is that I'm happy. I never believed I could quit; but I did it the first time I tried,
One year ago today, I threw away the cigarettes and I
logged on to this message board and lived here for about 3 months.
I know today that I would not have been able to quit Old Nic without
the help of the wonderful people on this board. They understood when I
screamed and cried and they held me up when I felt I couldn't go another minute
without a cig. They supported me when I felt bad for taking it out on my kids and
scolded me (nicely!) when I was feeling sorry for myself. They gave me everything I
needed and more. They helped me to believe in myself and in my ability to quit a
30+ year, 1-1/2 pack a day habit. Do I still miss smoking - sure I do. But the craving is
fleeting, barely a thought. Do I have tough days, yeah, but not so tough that I want to go
through that first week again!!! I feel so much better physically. So I gained a bunch of
weight - I can breathe now. I can speak a sentence without running out of air. I haven't had
a cold in a year and I didn't get my annual bout of bronchitis!! I've saved nearly $2000. this
year.
cold turkey. Believe me, if I can do it, anybody can do it. I wish all of you the best, and I will
never be able to repay the wonderful people on this board who helped me to save my life.
I'm very grateful.
Nan
One year, 21 hours, 30 minutes and 10 seconds. 9879 cigarettes not smoked, saving $1,975.84. Life saved: 4 weeks, 6 days, 7 hours, 15 minutes.
Things work out best...
I was feeling pretty bad after January 1, 2001. I sort of went through the halfhearted routine I have been through every New Years for the last 30 years...yeah, yeah, yeah, I’m quitting smoking...what else is new. But, as usual, it didn’t happen.
I would wake up in the middle of the night, heart squirming in my chest like a fish caught on a line. I would catch my breath, get back to normal, and then lie there next to my wife, feeling guilty. I’m not the sort to go to a doctor, and hadn’t in over 5 years. To top it all off, I was a "closet smoker"...to the best of my knowledge, not even my wife, an ardent anti-smoker (who has never smoked, by the way), knew that I still smoked!!! (she had thought I quit 10 years prior, when we married...imagine the shame of hiding, [yeah right sure], the fact that you are addicted to cigarettes, a pack a day smoker, from your spouse and your child!)
I was very adept at always chewing gum, wearing cologne, etc....anything to hide the smell...and every weekend, I would go cold turkey for 2 days...every weekend for 10 years of marriage!!! What kind of idiot was I, huh???? And the guilt...here I am with the most WONDERFUL wife and 6 year old daughter, and a secret that is killing me, both physically and mentally!!!! Damn...
Well, I am now desperate, feeling sick, feeling like I am going to die, feeling more ashamed than I have ever felt in my life. I stop smoking Friday, 2/16/01, at 4 PM, as I have done thousands of times before, not knowing if I will keep the quit when I come back to work on Monday the 19th. Come Monday, I find a link to Blairsville on the Internet while surfing, looking for some kind of miracle cure (I still have not bought a pack of smokes on this day...driving into work damn near KILLED me!) All that day, I am out of the office, visiting clients, resisting the urge to buy some cigarettes...wanting to get back online to investigate what I have found.
That evening, I found myself in the Blairsville chat room, and was directed to this board. Here...here is the miracle I was looking for! You people (you KNOW who you are!) provided me with support, inspiration, a shoulder to cry on, information, discussion, humor...in short, a "cure".
...for those that make the best of..
This journey has not always been easy, but it has been more worthwhile than anything else I have ever done! In March, I started working out, free weights, aerobics, etc., in an attempt to moderate the weight gain I had experienced. I got back into swimming (after decades away from it). At first, it was all I could do to swim 8 lengths of the pool (200 meters), but I kept at it. My thoughts wandered to the damage I had done to my body after 30 years of smoking. Once again, a timely and spirited discussion on this board debated as to whether you could ever repair the damage done to your lungs, but I resolved to try. I kept at it, both my quit, and working out.
After a month or so more, I was swimming 2000 meters (80 lengths) in 35 minutes, and imagined my lungs cleaner, pinker, stronger, and healthier. Was this the case? Who cares! I am feeling STRONG, and have lost 22 lbs!
...the way things work out.
Did I stop smoking in time, did I prevent major damage to my body, did I extend my lifespan? Who knows! All I can say is my QUALITY of life has improved, and I feel GREAT!!!!!! My cravings are more than manageable, and most of the time, non-existent. Smoking is a distant memory, and yeah, I miss it sometimes, but now I know I don’t need it.
Who says what’s the use, I have already done the damage, it can’t be undone, might as well keep smoking, it doesn’t make any difference if I quit now or later...(insert your own pet junkie thinking here...)?
Not me!!
And it shouldn’t be you, either!
And to ALL of you in Blairsville...newbies, fogies, lurkers, occasional posters, full time citizens...and to you Blair, for starting it all, and for your tremendous efforts in maintaining our little cyber community...how can I ever thank you all?? Well, I can’t really even begin to...but know you are all in my heart. I am proud to call you ALL my friends, and this trip we are taking together has been the experience of a lifetime!
You have changed my life in a way I never could, and I will make you all proud of me, and the efforts you have put into making me who I am today.
May God bless you all!
Smoked for 30 years, quit February 16, 2001
Things work out best for those that make the best of the way things work out.
Craig
