Litlestarrme

"Old Fogey^4"

(Quit smoking 10/04/1999)

God bless you one and all.

Litlestarr's 3 year "ramble" All your kind encouraging words just lift my spirits. I remember so clearly that night 3 years ago. I was on the porch; I'd smoked the last cigarette in the pack. I went up to bed and fell asleep within a couple of hours. The next morning I though, why not see how long I can keep from smoking. I put the new unopened pack in my glove compartment and drove to work. Somehow I did not feel the need to smoke. Oh, prior to this I'd cut back on the amount smoked. And I'd asked the Good Lord to help me quit. Not to bore people but my 32-year-old daughter had almost died from 2 strokes that May. She had also been a smoker; she quit when she got sick. Praise God she is still healing from that time.

Anyway, I made it through that day and the next, it's funny but people sometimes don't realize we are not smoking. Finally after a couple of days I pointed out I'd not smoked. Wow, how about that? I took back the unopened pack and traded it in for gum/candy.

I never said I would not smoke again. I kept saying I would not smoke right now. I found Blairsville somewhere around that first week or so. Reading all the stuff sure helped me on my quit. I was here day and night. All day at work, I kept sneaking in, but it really was a lifesaver.

So yes, I put on about 25 pounds, that was always the excuse I'd give for not quitting, didn't want to gain weight. But since the cancer my whole thought pattern is different. Just before the cancer was found and removed I started to lose that weight. Of course that's not a great way to lose. Now I have to go through the radiation which they say sometimes it's hard to eat. So I'll find out. Right now I am eating really good, for the 1st time in my life I'm not worried about gaining. Now I want to be a little over, only about 15 pounds. For the first time, not to be concerned about gaining is so different for me; I always had to watch. Almost makes me feel giddy.

At first it was hard to come here and tell about my cancer. I didn't even want to "say" the word. I guess I wanted to bury my head and it would go away. But then I though maybe, just maybe someone would say, "hey it can happen? maybe some people would not smoke that next one. Is there a point where the next cigarette is the "one" that kills you? If I'd kept smoking would my cancer have been worst? God only knows. But I've gotten so much love from here and so much encouragement, that it's really helped me get through this.

I've always been so practical, my kids say "cheap" I'm really trying to relax more and not worry so much about things. I'm grateful to wake up and have another day. I just pray the cancer has been stopped, after the surgery the Dr. told my family he thinks he got it all. I guess they don't say that unless they are pretty sure.

So if you are just lurking here and thinking about quitting, please quit as soon as you can.

My new motto is, "quitting smoking was easier than giving up my voice box."

I see from my other group, www.webwhispers.org that people at the WTC in NY, (workers at ground zero) are getting problems similar to what I have because of the smoke, etc.

And we willingly sucked that into our bodies??????

Well, enough of me for now, time to shower etc... Now I also have to clean my stoma. More preparation before I can go out. But Thank God I can go out.

Have a good day all.
Love ya

Editor's note - although having nothing to do with quitting smoking, the following post is so touching and profound, I wanted to add it to Littlestarr's "Ramble"

WHAT IS A VET?
He is the cop on the beat who spent six months in Saudi Arabia sweating two gallons a day making sure the armored personnel carriers didn't run out of fuel.

He is the barroom loudmouth, dumber than five wooden planks, whose overgrown frat-boy behavior is outweighed a hundred times in the cosmic scales by four hours of exquisite bravery near the 38th parallel.

She or he is the nurse who fought against futility and went to sleep sobbing every night for two solid years in Da Nang.

He is the POW who went away one person and came back another, or didn't come back AT ALL.

He is the Quantico drill instructor who has never seen combat, but has saved countless lives by turning slouchy, no-account rednecks and gang members into Marines, and teaching them to watch each other's backs.

He is the parade-riding Legionnaire who pins on his ribbons and medals with a prosthetic hand.

He is the career quartermaster who watches ribbons and medals pass him by.

He is the quiet man who did whatever he had to in order to serve his country in the thousands of little anonymous jobs that support the heroes of our services.

He is the three anonymous heroes in the Tomb of the Unknowns, whose presence at the Arlington National Cemetery must forever preserve the memory of all the anonymous heroes whose valor dies unrecognized with them on the battlefield or in the ocean's sunless deep.

He is the old guy bagging groceries at the supermarket, palsied now and slow, who helped liberate a Nazi death camp and who wishes all day long that his wife were still alive to hold him when the nightmares come again.

He is an ordinary and yet an extraordinary human being, a person who offered some of life's most vital years in the service of his country and who sacrificed his ambitions so others would not have to sacrifice theirs.

He is a soldier and a savior and a sword against the darkness, and he is nothing more than the finest, greatest testimony on behalf of the finest, greatest nation ever known.

So remember, each time you see someone who has served our country, just lean over and say Thank You. That's all most people need, and in most cases it will mean more than any medals they could have been or were awarded.

peace and blessings