1 Year!! Wow!! It's still sinking in!!
I'm not a very profound thinker, the Good Lord didn't bless me with that but I'll give this "Fogey Ramble" thingy my best shot.
For the last 10 years, I've really wanted to quit, trying every so often, making it 2-3-4 hours at a time, sometimes a day or two but always going back saying to myself "I'll try again tomorrow". Back in 1997, I quit for 2 days which was my last try and from then on, I became a "Closet Smoker". For two years I was slaved by this phobia of being caught smoking...God Forbid!! What a way to live...hiding behind the addiction. Amazing what this addiction does to your mind. It really made me anti-social because I had to find the time to hide and smoke. I was making up excuses not to go out with my friends, making up excuses not to take or go with my daughters somewhere. My daughters??? Just how could I choose smoking over my kids....because this addiction told me to stay by myself and smoke instead. Damn! (scratching my head in disgust!!) 23 years worth, but NO MORE!!
One day, I got a "Cool Website of the day" email note (I'm subscribed) and it was QuitSmokingSupport.com. I wasn't ready at the time so I filed it away for future reference. (Packrat stuff DonO!!). About a year later, when I was fed up with smoking, I opened up this site..... and never came out. I read lots of the information on quitting and saw this thing called the Bulletin Board. I was skeptical at first from all the things we hear about chat rooms but decided that I would just read the posts and learn from there. I couldn't resist posting, the people here were way too nice and supportive, and were all going through the same troubles I was. I guess that's the motivation I needed for a solid quit. Well, that was a year ago today and I really don't know how to express my true feelings of thanks. Perhaps a good solid Happy Dance just might do, but it must be more than that. So here I stay, trying to help out anyone in need, trying to give back even a fraction of what I've received from this place.
You people are all the best, sometimes sugar coating the support, sometimes with an occasional "tough love" slap in the face. Both are needed to cure this horrible addiction and this place usually knows when to use which "style". Reading all these posts, rants, raves, successes and failures from Fogeys, Middlebies and Newbies finally gave me the "kick in the pants" I needed. That's what I love about this place, there are only true people here with one ultimate goal.....Freedom from the shackles of Big Tobacco.
The power of this nasty addiction is incredible. If I knew when I quit that I would be harassed by this addiction for the rest of my life, I would have never started. I'm sure this is the case for most of us. But try telling that to a 15 year old kid. It makes you really think about what the tobacco companies do to these ciggies to make the addiction this strong. It can't be just the nicotine. The years of their research to make this a more addicting product must have been incredible. All those ingredients plus the nicotine add up to enhance the addiction!! Sheesh, anything for a buck!
I forget who posted this but it really stuck in my mind...they said "I started smoking to be with the "IN" crowd. Now I have to quit to be with the "IN" crowd! My, how the tides turn!
I'd also like to share one of my favorite "Quotes of the day" posts by Jeff....
- from -Out of the Ashes
"Apart and aside from the health risks and inconvenience, there was something about smoking that was "not okay" with me. I just didn't feel good about it on a fundamental level. It put me in conflict with my deepest values. Since I've stopped I feel more whole, more harmonious, more integrated." So true!
What I've learned here...
Thanks for all your help Blairsville citizens and a special "Manly HUG with pats on the back" to Blair for having the insight to develop this site and make it what it is today! I love you all and owe this quit to all of you. BLAIRSVILLE ROCKS...and today, for the rest of my life as a Fogey, so am I!!
Editor's note - the following is Mark's 2 year "ramble", posted on his 2 year anniversary
Thanks to everyone in this wonderful community for getting me through these 2 years – 2 of the best years of my life (health wise) that I can remember. Starting smoking at 16, quitting at 20 for 2 years, then having “only one” smoke the night before my wedding while drinking with the boys led to 21 more smoke filled years and many quit attempts tried. 100,000+ cigs later (geez), I finally found my saving grace in Blairsville.
To this day, whether I post or just lurk, I’m still helped by this place. Seeing the success stories, failed attempts, Newbies struggling, the Middlebies turning the corner and the Fogey’s graduating and pulling for everyone helps me remember how hard the transition down the freedom trail was (and I DO mean WAS!), and finally getting my freedom for good (with my guard always up of course!!).
Preserving this quit while SueS still smoked really makes me proud of myself for listening to all the good, sound advice from Blairsville. I got real selfish with this quit, taking the approach of quitting for myself first, and let others in my life benefit from my selfishness. I “wanted this quit more than I wanted that smoke” (my mantra throughout my quit). SueS really did quit with me for about a month but went back to it. Perhaps that’s the jump start I needed. I got bull-headed about not ever smoking again and kept that mentality.
I’ll have to admit that it was probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but well worth the effort. Blairsville just made it much easier with someone to talk to, confide in, vent with, going through the same thing I was, and just a great place that had all the answers I needed to solidify my quit, and keep it mine. I didn’t realize it until about 2-3 months (I think that’s when the brain clouds finally dissipated for good!), but while I was posting, trying to help others overcome this nasty addiction/habit, I was really helping myself as well. Selfish thinking, but true! If you listen to yourself while you’re helping others, realization of quitting just might come easier. That’s what it did for me. From that point on, my quit seemed to go real smooth.
Thank you Blair and Blairsville citizens for my quit.
It sure is a team effort!
BIG BLAIRSVILLE HUGS and lotsa love to you all.
And now, I am writing my ramble…One year ago last night I smoked my last cigarette…now I will post this on the Board…I feel scared and excited, exactly as I did 1 year ago…but tonight I am also feeling incredible joy ......
This ramble is dedicated to all of Blairsville's angels, past, present and future… but special hugs and heartfelt gratitude to all of you who shared this journey with me…you know who you are, and I love you all, plain and simple!!
The "straw that broke the camels back" was the thought of impending fatherhood. We have all read the statistics on how children of smokers have more inner ear infections, are more susceptible to start smoking themselves, and even find the horrible smell of smoke comforting when being raised by a parent who smokes. I finally came to the conclusion that this addiction was mine and I would not pass this on to my child.
I had quit many times before. The second to last quit was when I discovered a caring and understanding community called Blairsville. So at 10:30 am December 8, 1999 I finished my pack of Marlboro Lights and said to my smoking buddy "that was my last smoke". It wasn't like there was any big planning and my smoking buddy had heard that statement a thousand times before; however, this time I had a new "internal" source of inspiration that I thought it could make the difference.
Immediately after extinguishing that last cigarette, I headed to the computer in search of that place I had discovered a year or so prior called Blairsville. After a brief introduction support came pouring in.
The help and support that the Blairville residents offered got me through the very tough times. People who have never walked in our shoes do not understand. When I would say to a non-smoker "Hey I just went two weeks with out a cigarette" the common response is so what "I have gone XXXX amount of years, big deal."
This place has not only helped me quit smoking, but I feel it has given me insight to the world of addiction no matter what the substance. Support is key. I have applied the principles that I have learned here to help others with various addictions. I thank you all for that.
You were all right....it does get easier. When the cravings got bad...here is where I turned. Support was always plentiful.
So I sit here trying to ramble on.
What a year it has been. 3 months into my quit my son was born. A healthy & happy baby that changed my life entirely. Its funny, not only do I attribute my internal determination to quit to this little boy, but he has also given me focus and priority to what in life is really important.
The year as flown by.....I want to give a special thanks to two very special people. Both MarkS and Pat have given me personal unlimited support. Whatever I was going through, they had just conqurred. Many times I have drawn from their strength to help me achieve this goal. Thank you.
To end this ramble, all I can say is Thank you to Blairsville. What a difference this place has made in so many lives. Not only do I thank you but so does my son.
